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Feeling like your beliefs have been shattered after living a lie Confusion about the relationship or marriage and whether it is worth saving Fear of having your family torn apart Hurt over being violated and lied to Rage, bitterness, fear, shock, despair, devastation, repulsion, hurt and anger Anxiety about whether your partner or spouse has been unfaithful Shame, secrecy, and a fear of lack of acceptance Fear of having been exposed to or having contracted sexually transmitted diseases including HIV. Views Read Edit View history. Just like many gay men do, their wives can go through denial periods, Roxanne says, believing they can work things out. Through tears, Megan describes her world collapsing. Some even think there was something they did that caused their spouse to have gay sex. Open communication both within and without the marriage are cited as factors which support marriage, as well as the presence of children.